(a post-it note with 'feedback?' written on it, flickr.com ) The first article I read was from kqed.org ( found here ) which talks about different of praise and when to praise versus when to give feedback. Now, I've not really seen this in action as I am the youngest child and have never really spent time around younger family members like cousins. But I do work with children and I notice that the children that are generally more open to a conversation are generally the ones who aren't bribed or threatened to get rid of the idea of fear (all relevant to my job, I swear). This leads me to believe that rather than telling a kid, or person, to not do this or always do that, it's much better to tell them why or explain their actions and the chain effect it has. 'If you cry, your sister may see and get upset. That's okay, because we'll tell her that sometimes we get scared but that's normal' is far more effective, in my experience, than 'don'...